Yullen Week 2010, winter edition
by Zuza chan
Summary: And your raven black hair, silk, water, fire. I think I'm fighting for it.  And your cold blue eyes, sharp, precious, diamonds. I want to protect them, always and always. You are struggling like an devil, and fighting like an angel. Like Yuu, Like a deer.
1. Chapter 1

Yearn

And no matter how far away you are, a thousand miles away, on battle fields, or here, next to me, I still yearn for you, all of you. In this sick twisted way of mine, I yearn for you. Maybe I'm in love? Even when I know love is superfluous, inane, stupid even, in this war, in this world. No, I don't love you, It's not love. But I yearn for you. Maybe I'm a masohist too, but I still yearn for you, I do.

Your touch. When our shoulders brush, or our hands collide, and I can't hide the red on my cheeks from your piercing, sharp eyes. The soft skin of your hands, the warm feeling in my chest, It's all there. And in that moment it is erasing all other things, it's the only fact that matters. You and me, me and you. Once upon a time, Yesterday, Now, Tomorrow, and many years in the future we lack.

Your heat. When we're sitting close, just a few inches away, It's driving me mad. And I can't help but want to feel more of it. 'Cause I'm cold, I'm always cold. Like snow, my heart is ice cold, even when I'm smiling warmly. Like rain, my body is crying, even when I'm laughing happily. And you're the only thing keeping me from breaking in a million pieces of crystal blue ice.

Your scowl. When it's directed towards me, It's melting away all my worries, all my troubles, this whole stupid nonsense we're fighting in. It's more worth than a thousand smiles. Oh, how I envy you, for having the ability to scowl like that, because I can't scowl. This smile of mine, can't be taken off anymore, can't be replaced by a scowl. So I envy you, for having the right, and the courage to scowl fate in the face, when I don't. I envy you because I can't do anything else.

Your words. The harsh meanings of simple words, stabbing bleeding holes in my body, in my veins. They always sound like sweet nothings to me, so hurtful, so fulfilling. And bound with the sound of your voice, they're the small things that make my day, they're the most precious things in my life. And those words, which are always sure to come, are the things keeping me alive, keeping me from drowning in my own despair. That's what I'm fighting for in this war.

I yearn for you so much, your love. You making love to me, the feeling of us together, the messy, blissful, painful sex. And in those moments I know, I just know that It's not sinful, like many people seem to think. It's one of the purest things on earth, and It seems to be another thing I'm fighting for.

And I yearn for you, in all the unromantic ways. Just watching you is enough, drinking in your being, memorizing your small gestures, knowing you. It is fulfilling, giving me a purpose. It's the one thing keeping me sane, and the one thing driving me mad.

I yearn for you because of this war, and I yearn for you because of your peace. I yearn for you because of my loneliness, and because of your company. Because of the pain and the comfort, difficulty and simpleness, love and hate, because of you and me, and me and you. I yearn for you because you're always Yuu, and I'm always me, Allen. I yearn for you because you yearn for me, and because love is the one thing I'm not willing to give. So I just yearn for you, because I'm feeling that yearning is the one right thing to do, and because I'm not strong enough to stop it.

I don't love you, no, It's the one thing I can't give, the one thing I don't have. But I yearn for you so much, and the end results are the same, aren't they? So it's not even important. So I just yearn for you, I do.

But maybe, yearning is the same as loving? The same fulfilling feeling? Maybe yearning doesn't even exist, just love which is not recognised? No, That's stupid, I don't love you, It's can never be love. I just yearn for you, that's all.

...

...

Or maybe not?


	2. Chapter 2

Day 2 – Alternative theme: Frozen

_We'll do it all__  
__Everything__  
__On our own __  
__ We don't need__  
__Anything__  
__Or anyone_

Silence. It's not important, nothing is. Nothing exists. Beings, things, _nothing, _I don't even know if _I _exist, If _I_ am. The war, the people, the feelings – the _pain_- is forgotten, _gone._

_If I lay here__  
__If I just lay here__  
__Would you lie with me and just forget the world?__  
_  
_I don't quite know__  
__How to say__  
__How I feel_

Loneliness. No one is here. And everything is so unreal, unimportant, _not there._

_Those three words__  
__Are said too much__  
__They're not enough_

_If I lay here__  
__If I just lay here__  
__Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

Silk, white, soft, everywhere around me, and I don' see anything else, not this _hell _we're living in, not the betrayal, the lost ones, _nothing._

_Forget what we're told__  
__Before we get too old__  
__Show me a garden that's bursting into life__  
__ Let's waste time__  
__Chasing cars__  
__Around our heads__  
_

It's _perfect, _I feel like an doll, lying in a glass case, oblivion, doing nothing, thinking nothing, _being _nothing. Just observing. Seeing, watching, _observing._

_I need your grace__  
__To remind me__  
__To find my own__  
__ If I lay here__  
__If I just lay here__  
__Would you lie with me and just forget the world?__  
_

But there is one problem, one little error. You're not here. I miss you, I want you here. You know I wouldn't say it out loud, _never, _I'm too prideful. Just you, Only you.

_Forget what we're told__  
__Before we get too old__  
__Show me a garden that's bursting into life__  
__ All that I am__  
__All that I ever was__  
__Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see__  
_

I need you here, just you, and everything else can go to hell. Ice everywhere, as well as silence, quiet, fragile, _delicate. _ And you're warm, your white hair, soft skin, those eyes...

_I don't know where__  
__Confused about how as well__  
__Just know that these things will never change for us at all_

_If I lay here__  
__If I just lay here__  
__Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

Time,  
time does not exist here. We're standing still, not moving forward, _frozen. _But It's okay. As long as you're with me, as long as I'm not alone here, 'cause I can't stand the loneliness. It's painful, It's too quiet, It's _maddening._

_If I lay here__  
__If I just lay here__  
__Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

And we'll stay frozen, forever. But It's okay, 'cause you're here, It's okay, we can forever stay _frozen._

**AN: So people, I couldn't find any inspiration to the theme 'Bittersweet' so I choose 'Frozen'. It could have been better, but I wrote it in 20 minutes so I think It's OK. The song is 'Chasing Cars' by Snow Patrol, one of the best song ever. I think It matches the theme. **** Hope you like it, and please Review.. P.S. Kuroshitsuji is out! Yay.. tell me your thoughts about it.. **


	3. Chapter 3

Day 3 - Game

You scowl, I smile.  
You hate, I love.  
You hide, I search.

Come on, don't hide from me,  
I'll always find you.

**_You, you come to me_**  
**_ So perfectly yeah_**  
**_ So perfectly made _**

****  
No matter how much rooms there are, ten, hundred, thousand?  
Oh, You cannot hide from me, my eyes will always find you,  
guess I'm too addicted to not care were you are, eh?

You can struggle, scream, lie, all the things you think are enough, to make yourself feel better, purer.  
But you know, you want it..

**_ And you're all that you are _**  
**_ And you're all that you said_**  
**_ You're so exquisitely bred_**  
**_ Hmm yeah what more can i say _**

Hide and seek  
Without rules, there can't be cheating, just you and me, alone. Maybe that's what makes you so nervous, even when you always act so prideful. Are you scared, not wanting to let go, that small piece of innocence you have left?

It's ok, you can keep struggling, there are no rules after all.  
And I know you want it, that's enough.

**_So yeah, yeah_**  
**_ I guess its alright_**  
**_ Yeah, no_**  
**_ I guess it's alright whatever_**  
**_ Yeah no_**  
**_ I guess its alright_**  
**_ Yeah no_**  
**_ I guess its alright whatever _**

It's just you and me, look me in the eye, are you scared?  
Hide and seek, cat and mouse, you act like you're leading, but I'm the winner,  
am I not?

It's secret, nobody knows, and It will stay secret forever if you want,  
but there will always be the guilt in your heart.

**_And i, i hate ya for_**  
**_ For letting me fall for you_**  
**_ Just like a fool _**

So let it go, just give in already, to the sinful feelings you have,  
before they take over, and leave you in pieces, without your previous sainity.

Maybe your stronger, psychically and mentally, but I'm the one who holds you together.  
Smile, don't be afraid, I won't do anything, I promise.

**_Dreaming, of you lying in my bed_**  
**_ Just like how we were just days before_**  
**_ Oh just leave me just get out of my head_**  
**_ 'Cause i cant take this torture any more _**

I'm holding the leash, but I want you to struggle, I want you to play with me.  
'Cause it's boring without it, empty and false, I do not need lies,  
just your amusing pleasure.

So struggle and fight,  
burn me with your fire,  
bite me with your fangs,  
cut me with your nails,

and I'll hold onto you, and you'll hold onto me. It's a dangerous situation,  
isn't it? But It's ok, I like it just the way it is,

painful,

frightening,

dangerous,

pleasurable.

**_You're so far away, yeah_**  
**_ Why are you so far away_**  
**_ From me._**

****  
Let's dance and kill, glare and kiss, love and hate. Scream.  
And in the end, I realise, this is all just  
a game?

**_So yeah, yeah_**  
**_ I guess its alright_**  
**_ Yeah, no_**  
**_ I guess it's alright whatever_**  
**_ Yeah no_**  
**_ I guess its alright_**  
**_ Yeah no_**  
**_ I guess its alright whatever _**

**AN: I really thought I would have a problem with this theme, but I actually didn't. I started, and couldn't stop, and all the lines appeared in my mind. It was really easy, and I hope you like it as much as I do. The song is 'Whatever' by Imogen Heap. I listened to the song 'Hide and Seek' by Imogen Heap as well, but the lyrics don't really match... so.. Please review :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Day 4 - Alternative theme: Sacrifices

Allen POV,

_Allens thoughts,_

**Kanda POV.**

No, don't.

Never try to love me, never try to understand me.

Please, don't let me hurt you.

_I'm so scared, so alone._

**I love you, idiot, I won't let you go..**

**Don't be scared, I'm here.**

No, don't

'Cause even when I don't want it, I'm gonna betray you,

I can't stop it, I can't control it,

so go away and just leave me.

_Please, someone, help me. I can't do it alone._

**I don't care if you betray me, if you **

**kill me, If I get hurt, Do you hear me, **

_**I don't care.**_

The one I love most is the one I'm going to kill, eh?

But what if,

I die first?

_I don't know what to do, what to say.._

**Don't you dare die on me, baka. **

**I'm not going to accept it, **_**never.**_

I'm not going to let it happen, never, never. So, just leave me, I will fight it somehow,

I will try to win.

_I'm losing, I'm dying, I'm so, so afraid._

**I know you can't make it on **

**your own, I know you're scared.**

**I'll help you win, I'll fight with you.**

And even if I'm bound to lose, someone has to die, do they not?

_I want to live, I want to see tomorrow._

_I want to see your face, look into your eyes._

**No, not you. You're too pure.**

**I'm not going to let you die. **

**Not you. I need you.**

So, I can be the sacrifice, I'm not worth to live, to be cried for, eh?

_Why doesn't anyone help me?_

_Why did everybody abbandon me?_

**I'll protect you with my life, **

**'cause someone like you deserves to live **

_**the most.**_

Nobody cares for me, they care for 'The destroyer of time' , the one who will save them all, but..

_What about me? Who will save me?_

**I don't care if you're **

**'The destroyer of time' , **

**I don't care if you're a fucking Noah.**

**I want to save that one Moyashi, you. **

It's ok, I'm dying anyway, so It's alright.

_It's not alright! Please, save me,_

_save me from the monster in me, from everyone, from myself._

**I'll save you from them, **

**I'll save you from yourself, **

**'cause, I know what you're **

**doing to yourself.**

As long as everyone is safe, and happy, It's not important what happens to me.

_I'm lying, can't you see? I'm trying to be strong._

**I don't care about anyone else,**

**They can fight on their own.**

So, Kanda.. Yuu, don't fall in love with me, don't care about me. I'm not going to last long, my soul, It's dying already, so don't hurt yourself like that.

_I just want you to love me, to save me, to be by my side._

**It's too late, **

**I've already fallen for you, **

**more than you can imagine.**

"Why are you doing this to your self?" you ask.

_Ask, please ask, care about me with all your heart._

**Just tell me why?**

**Why are you toturing yourself?**

**Don't you see, It's hurting me as well.**

"Don't lie to me, baka moyashi. Tell me what's on your mind." you say.

_Call me that again, and again, and again._

**Baka Moyashi, tell me. **

"But, what's on my mind isn't important, so, don't, Yuu."

_Again and again, It makes me so happy. BaKanda._

**You're important to me,**

**Baka Moyashi.**

I'm just a sacrifice after all, am I not?

_BaKanda, Yuu._

**Talking like that, and crying so bitterly,**

**Baka Moyashi, Allen.**

"I love you"

_I love you so much._

**"I love you too, Baka."**

**AN: I hope you like it. I had an idea for addiction too, but I wanted to write sacrifice badly, and the other themes were written so I decided to write it instead of addiction. Don't worry, I won't do anymore alternative themes.. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

Day 5 - Marionette

Once upon a time, in a far away land, where Kings were born to rule and wars were won for peace, there was a story- myth even- about the soul of a boy. He was abbandoned long ago, thrown away as a baby, just becaus of an black arm.

The forest is where he lives in, says the legend, somewhere on the outskirts of oblivion and reality. And the people there, in the town near by, fear him, fear the legend. His sliver hair is like silk, and his skin is pure white, so it's said, and his eyes, they are the reflection of the clear blue sky melted with stormy, grey clouds. There is a blood read scar running down on one side of his face, begining with a pentagram on his forehead, sliding down to his cheek, just like a blood drop.

He's short for his age, so it's said, and the innocence in his movements is as false as his fake smiles.  
But the one thing that is frightening the people there the most, the one thing that is bound to be a lie, but is unmistakably the thruth- He is a marionette.

Kanda Yuu was never one to believe in legends, myths, or any other stories at all. He believed in the things he saw, and heard, nothing more, nothing less.

So when he was sent to investigate the legend of a living marionette, by the King personally (Kanda was surprised when the King asked him, The King didn't believe in stories as well, or so Kanda thought), he was very pissed. Why did they have to send him?

He marched on angrily, his men barely able to follow him. And it was raining as well, so the ground was slipery and hard to walk on.

They were somewhere in the middle of the forest where the boy is supposed to live, green surrounding them everywhere.

"Yuu-chan, the speed of your steps is hard to follow. You musn't run like that." said one of the men, with flame red hair, tall, and very handsome. He had one sparkling green eye, but the other was covered by the black material of eyepatch.

"Shut your mouth, Rabbit. How dare you call me that. I shall behead you the next time my ears pick up that nickname."

"Aww.. You musn't talk like that, _Yuu-chan._ What would your poor father say?"

"You shall not worry about that, worry about your health after I'm done with you." Kanda replied, pointing the tip of his long, black sword at Lavis neck. His long, wet, raven black hair was clinging to his face, just a few strands fluttering in the strong wind. His muscular, beautiful body (sorry people, I got a little into describing Kanda XD.. he's so hot..) was shivering from the cold, but his will was as hard as steel. He wouldn't stop until he found that shitty brat- his own wording.

"Don't ta-"

"Shh.."

"Please, do not 'shh' at me, it-"

"Don't you hear it?" Kanda asked, closing his eyes tightly and listening carefully. A quiet, very distant tune could be heard from not far away. It was somehow familiar to Kanda. An fragile, high pitched voice was humming it. 'Obviously the boy' Kanda thought.

"Let us separate. Half of the men shall come with me, and the other half shall go with the rabbit. Follow me, men." He left Lavi after that, ignoring his complaints.

As they walked towards the voice, Kanda tried to remember from where he knew the sad melody, but he couldn't remember.

"Now men, I'll go tha-" He turned around to find his men gone, and then he realised the humming has stoped.

"Can I help you?" the voice from before asked, from behind Kanda, and as he turned he saw the boy. He was exactly the same as the legend has described, pale, small, innocent looking, beautiful. And a puppet. Kanda shivered.

There were white threads hanging from his bruised wrists, no- from the whole arms- and legs. They looked as if they were hooked in the limbs. There was dried blood everywhere on the boy, his hair, his pretty face, his white dress shirt and his black throusers. Just as if someone had hung the boy somewhere, 'or controled him like a marionette' Kanda thought bitterly.

There were thin lines which began at the edges of his mouth and ended somewhere at his neck. They were stiched together messily, and Kanda wondered how the boy was ably to say anything with those wounds. 'It looks as if the jaw was attached by someone, just like a marionette' thought Kanda. The same thing was done to his knees and shoulers.

"Might I ask who you are?" asked Kanda, already knowing the answer.

"Oh, I think you already know, don't you? You mustn't be so formal, Kanda Yuu."

Kanda shivered again. How did the kid know his name? This was getting really creepy.

"Oi, you stu-"

"Your men already left, I think you should leave too." The boy said coldly, his dull, fogged eyes glaring at Kanda mistrustingly.

"I'm here to investigate this forest, and by all means, you."

"Me?" The boy asked innocently. "If you say so... If you allow me to introduce myself, my name is Allen Walker, pleased to make acquaintance."

"Tch, My name is Kanda Yuu, son of Kanda Takahiro and Ame. (Just came up with the names XD..), black knight working for the K-"

"King. I know, Kanda Yuu. I know you very well."

"How do yo-"

"I know many things."

"Tch... What are you doing here, in the forest, all alone, if I may ask?" The boy, _Allen Walker_,

chuckled softly. Then, out of the blue, he turned around, and serious expression on his face.

"I'm an marionette, and this is my stage. I'm scting, what else? Do you, Knight Kanda Yuu, have anything against it?" Kanda glared at the boy.

"Maybe."

They walked on, silence surrounding them.

"Do you want to take part in it?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you want to take part in my play, my lord?" Kanda frowned

"Why shou-"

"You musn't frown like that." said the boy.

"Could you try to let me finish the bloody sentence befo-"

"We're here." Kanda cursed. He hated being ignored, and this boy was doing is constantly.

Just as he was going to shout angrily at the brat, his eyes landed on the sight in front of him, and his eyes widened in awe.

A small town was located in front of them, lonely, quiet, abbandoned, in ruins. Did the boy live here?

"Yes, I live here. I have been living here since I can remember."

"Isn't it lonely?" Kanda felt pity for the strange boy.

"Please, do not pity me. Hate me, think that i'm disgusting, anything, but do not pity me."

Kanda felt symphaty for the boy, he hated being pitied as well. They walked on in silence. Never has someone ,ade his feel so many feeling in such a short time span. The boy was really something, and Kanda wanted to know more about him.

The boy began to hum again, the sad, lonely melody. It was so very familiar to Kanda. Where had he heard it before?

And the winds, they blew high, fearful eyes watching. Though fogged air and cristal drops, the bleeding sky was seen in impalpable awe. The storm which casted dark shadows, on the grassy hillocks of the small town, was ragging, unstoppable. Sorrowfull eyes watched the crying clouds, waiting, ready, the churning beauty to wittness. The rain, it was whispering soft words, singing a lullaby.

And somehow, Kanda doesn't know why or when, he starts singing, because he remembered the lullaby, and because he wants to make the boy happy.

_Then, the boy falls asleep_

_The flame inside the breathing ashes,_

_and one by one_

_Many dear profiles appear_

_Thousands of dreams_

_drop to the Earth_

_On the night when silver eyes flicker,_

_the shining you is born_

_Even though countless prayers are_

_returned to the earth by the passing millions of years_

_I will continue to pray_

_No matter what, shower this child with love_

_And kiss on the connected hands_

Then the boy looks back at him, and starts singing too, and watching intensely.

And Kanda, in that moment, thought of one thing only-

that he wants to stay here.

**AN: I know people, bullshit! Everyone is OOC, nothing makes sence and the ending (If you could call it that) is bad, but I had no time to do it better. I tried doing an actual story, but it became too long for such a short time spam.. so I, well, somehow deleted half of it, and made an ending... If someone want, I can make this chapter an actual story, with a few (or more) chapters. So... Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

Day 6 - War

They say we're not important, they say we're mere tools used to end this war,  
pawns, useless, forgottable, weapons.

And after all of their whispering, hurting, stabbing, I think that  
maybe we are.

Cold, cold stone walls is what awaits me when I come to this so called home, fake smiles and cold eyes is what I find. Everything is just an act, they don't care about me, nobody cares.

Prison, they put me in prison, for a sin which is not mine, nor will it ever be. But I can't stop it, and they know, so they bind me to this wall, and their knife of justice isn't hung around guilty neck, but one of their own, one who protects, saves.

Cry, I can cry, but never will they come, to help me out of my misery. It's not important how I feel, It's not important if I'm hurt, as long as they have someone to help them win this war.

Nonsense, this is all nonsense, and they know it, I know it, but it doesn't even matter. They found a reason to fight, even when it is an inane one, the most important thing is that they can fight.

Monsters, they are monsters, without a real purpose, so they're trying to make us as helpless as them. They know they will never be anything more, but at least they're not the only ones, we're here now too.

I always thought I was fighting for them, their piece, their lifes, them, but as time goes by, I loose that thought, I see It was never real. They bound me, they abused me, confused me, they made me bled, and there was only one thing I was thinking about at that time.

I remembered when you first scowled at me. I was so shocked and confused, and really hurt. When I met you I wanted to be with you, the instant I saw you, I knew it. You were fascinating, mysteious, so very interesting, and I wanted to break through. And you scowled like that, and I wanted to cry, why, oh why didn't you like me?

I then found out, I found out you were like that, and something strange happened to me, I wanted to see more.

You were like an obbsession, so fulfilling, giving me a purpose, and the excitement I felt, I never wanted It to leave. So, uncounsiously, I was beggining to fight for it, for that hurtful scowl.

It's interesting, isn't it?

And your raven black hair, silk, water, fire. I think I'm fighting for it too.  
And your cold blue eyes, sharp, precious, diamonds. I want to protect them, always and always.

You are struggling like a devil, and fighting like an angel.  
You are talking like a human, and living like Yuu.

Slow, but still fast. Simple, but still difficult. Like fire in water, like love in hate.  
Like a deer.

Your love. That's what I'm fighting for.  
Your touch. That's what I'm fighting for.  
You. That's what I'm fighting for.

And don't try to hide from me, I will find you.

Your scent, the sea, and cherry bloosoms, green tea, and soba. Yes, your beloved soba, It makes me laugh so much. So simple, so childish, so divine, innocent, wonderful. I always loved it.

Your taste, bitter, strong, sour. Like your pride, the one thing you will never give up. I wonder why?

I'm fighting for you to keep your pride.  
Don't let it break.

The tatoo on your chest, I have seen it, I have touched it, but I never understood it. Why won't you tell me? You won't, of course you won't. It your pride again, isn't it?

Your pride, if I get to close, I will get burnt. This mantra in your head. Cruel, lonely, strong, beautiful. Just like you.

Living in a domesticated world, you're the only being still untamed.  
Wild, dangerous, a lion.  
I'm fighting for you, for you to find a place in this tathered world.

And in the end, after all the thinking, watching, after you, I realize slowly, painfully, that you are the one thing I'm fighting for. I slowly came to know you, and you became precious.

You are here to end this war, you are fighting. I'm here to end this war, I'm fighting too. We all are. And I just realized, we're not fighting for them, not for anyone else, but for ourselfes. We, the pawns in this game, the ones not important, the ones whos purpose is to win this war, to create a peaceful world for others, and then are bound to die, we are fighting to create this world for us, us and no one else. Yuu, I'm fighting for you, are you fighting for me?

And I love you, you.

Because you are like fire in water,  
like love in hate, you, just you are  
Like a deer.

**AN: So people, sorry for the long wait.. I had this typed out and all.. But I actually FORGOT.. just like that... Please review.. and I'm still thinking about baking the chapter 'Marionette' an actual story.. of course I would have to change some things but... oh well, I'll think about it.. look out for it.. I think I'll do it! **

**And to all my readers: Merry Christmas!  
**


	7. Chapter 7

Day 7 - Eternity

_Through the stars, snow and memories_

_I'm looking for your footprints_

I lost you, lost you long ago, when you where born again under the bleeding sky. I'm searching, searching althrough, I know I won't be seing you around. The pure white of your untouched soul, went somewhere I will never go. In memories I hold onto you for long, and I look up at the stars, seing your scowling face. In snow so white, never to be, I'm still searching for your footsteps long lost along my darkness.

And I know, I just know I won't be seing you around, with your raven black hair, impalpable blue eyes, and innocence I will never have. 'cause I lost you, lost for eternity.

_I pray you rest peacefully for all eternity_

_This is the middle of the dream_

And I always look up through tear-filled orbs, grieving under the cruel gods, which let you go through the stained glass doors, where I was never meant to belong.

And I feel like this is all a dream, days pass and I never forget. Forget how you looked next to me. People ask, they don't know what's wrong, but my foged mind is somewhere else, somewhere I will never get.

And I always close my eyes, and I always pray that, now that I lost you, don't come back. Rest in peace, be loved, and never come back to me. 'cause if you do, I won't be able to let you go again, never again.

_With wings that still can't fly, I run up the hill_

_When I stray from the path I close my eyes and keep going_

Fighting, fighting is all I can do now, and I feel like my body isn't my own anymore. My innocence, which never was mine, is getting blacker, and with every second, I'm falling deeper into the abyss, going further away from you. And I run up the hill, trying to get back, everything to guide me back home, but my wings are stunned, my fate is sealed, and I'm bound to an eternity in oblivion, oblivion without you.

So I just go on, till I reach my purpose, to do as much as possibble before I meet my judge. And I close my eyes in fear, but don't stray from my path, I won't see you again anyway.

_Someday everything will return to what it was_

I whisper to me every night, but going to bed and waking up, I know It is a lie. Trying to forget what comes after this life, but never leaving my mind, the eternity won't let me get back, to the days that were before.

_The one place on top of the sky_

_is peacefully within you_

And I didn't care where we were, I didn't care what we did, as long as I was with you. I was me, and you were you, and we had our place in this world. And I thought we would always be together. But the one place on top of the sky, wasn't for both of us.

'Go' I whispered, as you wouldn't go, 'Please, and I'll feel the peace within you' is what I said, and you obeyed for once. Moyashi, you called me, and I couldn't stop the tears. I kissed your bloody lips one more time, closed eyes awaiting me.

Now that you're gone, now that I'm alone, I can't help but want you back, never to let you go again, 'stay with me here, please don't go' to say instead.

_Trusting the future after the light in good hands_

That is all I want, my heart to never know what lies ahead. That's another thing I won't get, as I can see the oblivion hanging around guilty neck. No light, and no darkness, just me, me alone without memories of Yuu.

_Through the dreams, love and emotion_

_I'm looking for your footprints_

_Leaving behind the light of eternity_

And I'm not giving up, always trying to get away. I'm searching through dreams about you, remembering your love and my emotions. And I'm searching for salvation, to guide me to you, but the light never breaches my view. And I know, I just know, I won't be seing you around.

But at least, I have one last memory of you, the one i will never forget, the one of an angel with unwavering wings, which I'll carry with me through this eternity of oblivion.

_W__ith your unwavering wings_

_May you have eternal love__._

**AN: So people, I hope you like my last entry! I think it's one of the best chapters! Sorry for the long wait.. I had it already written, but I wasn't home so I couldn't post it! I wanted to thank my readers and the ones that reviewed:**

Cassie Chann

The Hungry Hybrid

Chaillot!

**See you!**


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